A sense of humor is indispensable to a good relationship, especially a love relationship. When you see someone who has lost their sense of humor, you are looking at someone who is about to burn out . . . or someone who has always been that way. And if you see a couple who has lost their flair for humor, you’re watching a relationship that is about to go south.
If your relationship is burning out and you need a breath of fresh air, try an easy solution. You may be overly anxious and traumatized by all the discord. Although the future may look grim, you can help everyone concerned by recovering your lost sense of humor. A sense of humor is one of the first assets to go when we begin having relationship problems.
Recovering a sense of humor is not easy to do, right? That’s right, especially if you are burning out.
Yet, there are ways . . .
True Story
I have led numerous couple and family groups and workshops, where we have tried all sorts of strategies, but most of the time the technique that worked the best for helping people to improve their relationships was to get them laughing! Everything was easier after that.
The more problems you have the more you need to laugh!
Laughing helps us reduce tension and manage stress . . . and it makes our problems seem less troubling. Also, laughter helps us to deal with conflict while improving our health and well being. Laughter is a proven natural anti-depressant, too.
Sometimes I think a laugh a day is better at keeping the doctor away than eating an apple!
The last thing an unhappy couple feels like doing is laughing, but it can be great medicine. And, believe me, you can learn how to do it . . . again!
I’ll give you a few ideas for making your relationship burdens seem lighter and your future less grim.
Tips For Lightening Up A Burned Out Relationship
1. Talk about something besides problems. A problem-saturated discussion is a problem.
2. Reflect on that which brings you pleasure, such as a funny experience from the past, your most embarrassing moments or an interesting encounter you observed at the shopping mall.
3. Laugh at your own mistakes or shortcomings while you are learning from them. The trick is to laugh more often or to use laughter as a strategic tool . . . try laughing instead of getting angry.
4. Rent a funny movie or go to Comedy On Broadway and spend the evening together laughing. No serious discussions allowed! Yes, you should make that a rule.
5. Pick up a book of jokes and tell one a day to as many people as possible, including your mate. Spend more time each day dealing with funny material. By the way, I picked up a copy of Mad Magazine, which I hadn’t done since I was a kid, and just had to laugh at some of their irreverent material! And it kept me chuckling for the rest of the day.
6. Apologize for something you’ve done — it feels so good for everyone.
7. Find humor in the remarkable follies of the world instead of complaining about them. Move from a mental position of being disappointed or angered to one of being amused. Instead of complaining at someone’s stupidity, and allowing yourself to get stressed, marvel at it! You have the upper hand that way, and your healthy heart will thank you.
8. Back up if you catch yourself being overly serious.
9. Give yourself a break from over-reacting whenever your partner does something that angers or upsets you. Keep calm and think about something good he or she has done. Put it in perspective. Remember, it probably ain’t the end of the world (although it may feel like it momentarily).
10. Uncover, trust and use your own natural sense of humor. You don’t have to be Robin Williams.
Should you lack confidence in yourself or your sense of humor, try working with your sense of humor and you’ll soon become more accomplished.
If you try the ten tips and stay with it long enough, you’ll see a change in your relationship. You can improve your relationship, let go of stress and find the good in your partner by rediscovering a natural sense of humor.
Feel free to let me know how this works for you. I love hearing from people!
Good luck . . . and I just know you will enjoy happier and more enjoyable relationships if you increase your capacity for humor and take a lighter approach!
